Going through a divorce is an unpleasant situation for anyone. Even the hope of positive outcome of divorce can’t prevent the devastating psychological shock and pressure on children. It is crucial to take extreme care when you need to inform your kids about divorce. The following few advice should be followed when bringing up such a bad news to your children.
1. If you are still trying to solve your problems, do not tell your children you are thinking of divorce. It will only scare them and put them under tremendous mental pressure.
2. Select a time and place carefully and thoughtfully so that their children can have the opportunity to respond and ask questions. You should avoid these conversations before bedtime, in the car, or on the way to daycare or school.
3. No matter why and how you got to this decision, but you and your spouse are both responsible for giving the bad news to your children. It is best, if you can bring it up to them as a team.
4. Discuss in advance what you will say and how. The basic rules are simple: no one will blame the other for what is happening; and none of you should try to argue that children choose one of you.
5. Make sure they know that neither of you will fail to love them. And you will continue to spend a lot of time and will always be there to support them.
6. Do not use kids to spy on your partner or pass messages to him/her. And never speak ill of your spouse in front of them.
7. Talk to the teacher and the parents of their friends and put them abreast of what is happening.
More often, even opting to follow these steps won’t ensure that the children would accept the circumstances. If necessary, seek a therapist to help children deal with the situation. Divorce rate is increasing throughout the world at an alarming rate. Children are the worst victims of divorces.
Why have children, if you can’t give them the assurance, love, and companionship of both parents? Why have children, if your priority is something other than your children’s well being? You are grownups. Nothing is more important than your children are. If you find out something shocking about your spouse after your child’s birth, that’s your problem. Deal with it however you can. But as long as your child is fond of your spouse, you don’t have any right to separate them despite how they are trying to develop a social acceptance of divorce on media or anywhere else.